Kristin Davis sat down with Jada Pinkett Smith and her mother Adrienne Banfield-Jones to discuss the complexities of interracial adoption on the Facebook Live series Red Table Talk. The central question and title of the discussion was whether white people should adopt Black children. 

In the episode’s introduction, Pinkett Smith and Banfield-Jones discuss how Black people have historically gone around the system and sought out informal methods of adoption.

“We take in other people’s kids and raise them within our extended families…” Pinkett Smith said.  “…without going through the system,” Banfield-Jones finished. 

According to The Adoption Network Law Center, 73% of adoptive parents are non-Hispanic white. Additionally, African American children are disproportionately represented in the foster care system due to numerous personal and societal factors. 

The mother-daughter host pairing introduced their guest, Davis, who is an actress and mother of two adopted Black children. Throughout the 25-minute episode, the three did a deep dive into a conversation about the white savior complex and ensuring her children feel comfortable in both Black and white communities.

"I do feel like the white savior thing is a problem and it's real, so I don't want to say that that's just a myth," Davis said. "It's not really what I come across so much … because are you saying then, 'Don't try to do anything good because your skin is white?' Because that's not going to work out." 

"We can't ever succeed without the Black community embracing our children," the 54-year-old added. 

When the Set It Off actress addressed the history behind the mistrust of white families adopting Black children, Davis emphasized her understanding.

“I get why there’s not trust. Why would your community trust my community with its babies? I 100% understand that. I wouldn’t either.”

She also shared the realization of the institutional racism based on prejudice her children experienced.

"When she was a baby and I would be holding her in my arms people would say to me, 'won't she be a great basketball player.' I would just have to be like, 'this is a baby.' How could you say that without being mortified?" she recounted with tears in her eyes. 

“How dare they limit my child! How dare they make that assumption” she said. 

She also witnessed her child being intentionally excluded by a group of white girls on the playground. 

Davis then explained the misconceptions about adopting Black children and said there's an extensive interview process. Applicants are asked how they'd plan to stay consistent with a prospective child's culture. She shared that there are required courses on Black culture, one of which included an entire lesson about hair.

"The biggest misconception is that there's some kind of like, 'I'd like a Black child please like that handbag over there,'" Davis said. "It's very very far from that in terms of the process, in terms of what you go through for that to happen." 

During the interview, Pinkett Smith pulled out an adoption qualification form and goes over a few of the deeply personal questions on the questionnaire.

Among the questions were: "Would you be willing to adopt a child that might have significant physical disabilities? Or mild mental health? Or a child that might have a parent that was addicted to cocaine?"

To which the mother responded, "Why would I exclude? If the right child is going to come to me why would I say 'no' to this or 'no' to that? … It seemed racist." 

The Sex and The City actress also revealed she was personally chosen by her daughter’s birth mother and the sacrifice women often have to make in giving up their children for adoption. 

Watch the full segment below: